bigbonton

go to the new site

2006-12-08T07:36:00.000-05:00

this site is not being updated because it has moved.
Go to the new site
bigbonton.org

CLICK!! and stop telling me I haven't updated this site.
READ!!!

2006-10-27T16:42:00.000-05:00

bigbonton.org

2006-03-17T11:25:00.000-05:00

This old blog has provided so much in the past few years.
Diversions, a creative outlet,
a raisin et cetera, um, I mean a raison d'etre,
and so now, on St Pattys day 2006 we ported over these postings
onto it's own Movable Type template and we announce:
bigbonton.org
Go!

Forsythe Fountain is now green

2006-03-10T12:30:00.000-05:00

It's a big week in Savannah G-A.
St Pattys is on Friday and they're kicking off the celebration with green dye in one of their fountains. It's a high noon meet and greet, fun for Grandpa O'Kelly to pontificate for the kids. Groups of school kids in school uniforms punched out their songs. They were clearly well drilled on their performance.
We stopped by, said hi, grabbed a sandwich and chips and enjoyed warm March weather.

A truck, an ax and thou

2006-03-01T16:20:00.000-05:00

This photo has all the elements of a good 48 hours along the shore of the Gulf of Mexico: fire, food, and a blue tarp.

All hail the ubiquitous blue tarp!
The post-hurricane source of keeping dry, getting by, making due.
We were smoking 60 lbs of ribs, 30 fish steaks, zucchini, squash, onions, and anything not nailed down.

Horses on the island

2006-02-20T08:40:00.000-05:00

These horses are wild. Their great-great Grandparent-horses were in the Carnegie and/or Rockefeller stable on Cumberland Island, Georgia. Which explains why they're the fittest looking wild horse I've seen. That's compared to those in the Black Rock Desert, Nevada and Ocracoke, North Carolina.

The annual February warm spell is on us, days in the 60s or even 70s.
A week ago we had some freezing - seriously, it froze for an hour or so before dawn.
Of course it thawed an hour or so after sunrise.

No more tidbits to write for now, it's a nice afternoon to sit by the fountain and read in the warm sun.
"Best Essays of 2005"
"Elmer Gantry" by Sinclair Lewis
and the eternal "CCNA Certification",
then ZZzzz . . .

We're out here having fun in the warm Carolina sun.
Fine, & You?

Happy Valentines Day Sweetheart

2006-02-14T00:01:00.000-05:00

click image to enlarge in new window

A beautiful rose for you my darling Valentine.

I found an island in your arms,
a country in your eyes.
- The Doors -

One Love, One Heart
let's get together and feel alright
- Bob Marley -

There is only one happiness in life,
to love and be loved.
- George Sand -

If you would be loved, love and be lovable.
- Benjamin Franklin -

Love, like a river, will cut a new path
whenever it meets an obstacle.
- Crystal Middlemas -

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach ...
[see complete version in comments]
- Elizabeth Barrett Browning -

2006-02-13T23:54:00.000-05:00

pre-Valentine coaching

2006-02-13T10:05:00.000-05:00

If today you are lucky enough to be with someone to have and to hold
make sure they’re well had and well held.
There are people sleeping alone tonight with cold feet!

It takes a lot of good luck and hard work to find and/or become a good catch.
All of that goes to waste if a good catch is not caught and kept.

1/ Keep yourself relevant as a sweetheart in the courtship marketplace.
2/ As for your S.O. (significant other), once you catch ‘em they require food, water, and recreation. Forget about training them, just recall how perfect they once were before you got to know them.
3/ Love is a verb, now go to it with a little Pep!

Looney Bulbs

2006-02-10T14:04:00.000-05:00

There’s more to flowers than just roses, carnations, daisies, etc.
and this looney wild child bulb (below) proves that bulbs produce more than just tulips.

click on image to enlarge in new window

Overheard from a girl on a cell phone conversation:
Shut up just shut up . . .
(sarcastically) You’re right you’re always right . . .
quit it just quit it . . .
[and then]
I love you, goodbye.
Oh wait, what are we doing on Valentines Day?
. . .
Love is Looney!

Valentines ultra-Sarah-Announce-Protocol (u-Sap)

2006-02-06T04:20:00.000-05:00

just out of Beta:
Valentines ultra-Sarah-Announce-Protocol (u-Sap)

Incorporating the OSI Model Level 1 and Level 2 of the incumbent Telco in Mayberry, North Carolina, the browser becomes "Sarah" the telephone operator while you choose your role as either Deputy Barney Fife or his sweetheart Thelma Lou. Enjoy some telephone sweet talking!

Prepare to connect to your sweetie
by first closing your eyes for 12 seconds. See the future, be the future -
with Valentines ultra-Sarah-Announce-Protocol
(Valentines u-Sap)!

Begin.
Deep breath, inhale deep. Then exhale in puffs.
Relax, let Cupid channel Thelma Lou and Barney, connect using Valentines u-Sap!

Steps toward the experience:
1/ currently be on the online interweb, netweb, or an onsite-webline.
2/ turn on the speakers on your computer.
3/ click the link above.
4/ "Sarah" the browser will pick up and say
"Hello u-Sap, Coo your Valentine, please".
NOTE: Ignore any modem noise, you are hearing "Sarah". Her English voice is in development.
5/ your response will be either
"I am Thelma Lou and I love Barney Fife"
or
"I am Barney Fife and I love Thelma Lou".

Repeat as a mantra for the network link duration.
Your response may be spoken into a microphone or typed into the comments section but it must contain repetition of the above mantra in order to reach u-Sap Critical Mass .

6/ you have just over 90 seconds in u-Sap mode before you'll need to refresh the connection by clicking again - like putting a coin in a pay phone!

Comments on the Valentines ultra-Sarah-Announce-Protocol
(Valentines u-Sap)?

pre-Valentine Aloalo lahilahi

2006-02-01T08:46:00.000-05:00

Start now finding and flowering a potential date
or you'll be singing "Hello Walls" on Valentines Day 2006.

Above is a fine speciman of the
Chinese Habiscus
Hibiscus Rosa-Sinensis
Aloalo lahilahi

A red hibiscus, it's the official flower of Hawaii.
Common enough to be used as hedges.
Lush enough to form 20 foot tall walls of flowers.
Dat's some nice hedges, bro!

No kidding, get ready for 2-14-06
or you'll be hurtin'-4-certain in less than 2 weeks.

Armadillo

2006-01-30T08:33:00.000-05:00

These guys are migrating up from Texas and Mexico, rooting their way into everyones yard, taking over. This guy was on a barrier island, rooting, doing his thing without regard for his locale. He'd be doing the same thing anywhere.

They carry their own armor and appear cleaner than their greasy predecessors: meet the new possum, Opossum 2.0. The old joke is "possum on the half shell".

Was hard to resist touching this one, wanted to feel the armor and see what he was all about. The ears especially, like little flowers.
They're practically blind, he walked right up to the toe of my boot, but when he realized I wasn't a tree stump he hopped away in a bunny / antelope escape trot. This is the only photo that was not blurry, they never stop moving their heads, always rooting and sniffing.
Odd that he didn't know my boot from a tree stump, didn't he notice my all-day boot smell? Maybe I was camouflaged by a combo of low tide, salt, and horse biscuits.
Get used to them, they're making themselves right at home.

Myers BBQ

2006-01-08T14:22:00.000-05:00

"Looks like home, Tastes like home"

note the long shadows of a January afternoon

The 1st stop in the 3rd year of the Bonton Barbeque Tour of America!
That's right, 3rd year - 2004, 2005, 2006.
Q: . . . and what have You done with your life in the past 3 years?
A: Well, I went to as many BBQ places as I could and photoblogged them for the betterment of mankind. And for posterity, uh, for my legacy, you know . . . 9 states and 2 coasts so far".

We knew this place was good when we pulled into the parking lot behind a powerline truck, one of those big rigs with a bucket. They got to park anywhere they wanted.

There was a split wood pile on the side of the house so we inspected the premises before going inside. A smoke house is in the back with a big pile of wood waiting to be split after school by the son. This place really is a former residential dwelling, thus the slogan "looks like home, etc". Any Q joint you see with a tin roofed smoke house in back, well, just go in and hand over your money for a buffet.
Myers specializes in hickory and oak pit cooked BBQ & country cooking. My stomach is growling with fond memories.

The clientele was lunchtime landscaping crew, lineman, a table of "who knows what they do during the day", and one guy with his female better half. They were making plans, I think it was a honey-do list from her to him. He was going along with anything she said. Maybe she let him have some Q so she could get her way with him. Thank goodness for at least one female in the place, she classed up the joint with her ambition and all that.

Across the street is a large corporate building with a security gate. Whatever they do in there, I'm sure the cubicle dwellers daydream about opening a BBQ place like this one, right off the highway.
They have an all you can eat deal but not an actual buffet, you return to the front for a refill and they lay it on you with a smile. The Q was so good that I forgot about getting some Smoked Chicken! That's Smoked chicken, not BBQ chicken. Smoked chicken - imagine how tender and tasty that must be. Smoked Turkey is so good, wish I'd had some smoked chicken. . Right now, missing the smoked chicken feels like a greater loss than it did at the time, when I was full-up on 2 plates of Q. My stomach is growling (again).

When I realized I was too full to have the smoked chicken I began a sit down strike. The plan was to digest enough to try a sample of the smoked chicken. Just a mere morsel, a wafer thin slice. We hung out.
Their bulletin board includes many local celebrities, like some blues musicians that look like they've had a fairly easy life. After the lunch rush I was the only person in the place. The radio played Elvis singing "Kentucky Rain". Poor Elvis, he sings:
"I don't know why you've gone,
what you're running to, or from,
all I know is I want to take you home".
He rhymes "gone", "home", and "from" using an "uh" sound.
Everybody now give me an Elvis Uh-uh-Huh!
Uh-uh-Huh!

There wasn't much to talk about with the lady that was sweeping up and I think I made her self-conscious when I took a flash photo. She likes Elvis but didn't want to talk about The King just now, she was sweeping. When I mentioned that today, January 8th, is the Birthday of Elvis she seemed to have had enough, as if it weren't true.
Well it is true each and every year on January 8th!
So I got a gallon of tea ($4) to-go and left.

God as my witness, I shall return soon and I'll put a hurting on that smoked chicken, we're even planning on calling ahead to make sure they put a few yard birds on just for me.

Myers BBQ Restaurant and Catering
Gerald & Carolyn Myers, Owners
10324 Wilson Blvd. at I-77 & Hwy 21 N (Exit 24)
Blythewood, SC 29016
Hours Mon - Sat 11 - 9pm

Port-o-Desk

2006-01-05T20:46:00.000-05:00

And so begins another year on the road.
we gots da wi-fi notebook, a digicam, old school yellow pages, dead tree folio, and an MP3 enabled jambox with which to spread some joyous grooves -
all on a standup desk-like platform
with a 4 wheel drive and we actually lock the hubs!
logon, logoff!
bonton roulement en 2006

January 1st Polar Bear Swim

2006-01-01T12:01:00.000-05:00

Sullivans Island, SC. 1/1/06
A pleasant day, about 55 degrees, sunny with little wind.
People pay a small amount to a charity to swim together in the Atlantic on New Years day. There was a large turn out due to the nice weather.

The scene changed post-swim, the sun went behind clouds and it got chilly.
It is a polar bear swim but there was no ice involved except in some coolers on the beach. The Wisconsin or Alaska Polar bears would look down their cold noses but hey, we don't control the weather, snowbirds.

Saw something new to me: some sort of flying Dutchman contraption.
Take an inflatable boat, strap on an ultralite hang-glider-airplane with a two stroke engine and large fan blade for a propeller and risk your life 200 feet above the land and sea. Seats one or two, depending on weight and amount of sense. I imagine you must keep seated and hang on!
There were several buzzing around in the air, really added to the feeling of being in a fun scene.
Reminded me of Black Rock Desert during Burning Man, where you say to yourself "This sure is fun. I might die. Let's do it again!"

Live Nativity Scene

2005-12-25T22:00:00.000-05:00

This used to be more common than today so this was a real treat.
In the stable-stage we have Mary, Joseph, and 3 kids dressed like sheep, or little lambs, in their case. Throw in some wise men and shepherds on the side and you have yourself a live nativity scene!
Everyone was very pleased to be participating and the atmosphere was serene. A choir was on the porch in the background singing the standards.
To the right was a bonfire and some hot food, something over rice.
Interesting how it seemed both active and still at the same time.
It felt like nothing was going on and also something big was happening. Had some nice hearted laughs with the grandma's of the lambs. They were cutting up, playing their parts. Good kids.
Merry Christmas 2005!

Sheep in a Manger

2005-12-25T21:38:00.000-05:00

Bahh Bahhhh Baah

Mary, Joseph

2005-12-25T20:41:00.000-05:00

& the Birthday Boy Savior

Skinned into a toy

2005-12-19T11:11:00.000-05:00

click on photo to enlarge in new window

If you haven't made all your shopping trips and spent all your present money, here is a fine gift idea from the 1700s.

Ye Olde Gift-ee Idea-ee
circa 1701

First: Skin a small lamb, goat, or pony. - Did you say pony? Pay special attention to the snout, ears, and eyelids. It's the little details that add that special touch - the eyelashes, for example.
Second: Assemble it to form a life-like image of its former self using big tacks to hold the hide to a platform. Include a pull string and wheels attached to where the hoofs were (not shown).
Then: Present it to your kids so they can pull it around.
They'll be the envy of the colony!

In the future your Great-Great-grandkids will grow up to treasure it and keep it on a shelf in front of very Grandma-like flowery wallpaper.

The Veiled Lady

2005-12-06T18:01:00.000-05:00

2005-12-06T17:59:00.000-05:00

click photos to enlarge in new window
The Gibbs Museum of Art, Charleston, SC.

No Photography! - the sign said.
Lucky for us I cannot read.

A magnificent bust, non?
Oh! She eees too bee-yoo-tee-foo.

Start dropping hints

2005-12-02T08:30:00.000-05:00

click photo to enlarge in new window

You can't get what you want 'till you know what you want,
& in this case, 'till they know what you want.

So if your little hearts desire is an official Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range-model BB gun with a compass on the side then start cluing in the powers that be. And don't waiver if all you hear is "You'll shoot your eye out kid!"
Stay the course. Eyes on the prize, just look above at Any Kid USA. He scored! Nice hat too!

Here's my hint:
I want to I feel as complete as this kid feels. Is it the BB gun or the fact that someone cared for him?
I want to be asked and heard.
I want a Santa that gets it.
Three "I wants" spelled out & posted. Hint hint.

Yes, "A Christmas Story" aired the other night. Complete with Ralphie and his Dads Major Award lamp.

Remember the made-for-TV Saturday Christmas movie "JT"? About an inner city kid that found a stray cat, kept it among junk on an abandoned lot. JT housed the cat in an old stove and fed him bites from his school lunch. The cat had an injured eye so JT made an eyepatch. The injured stray cat was the only loving connection JT felt.
The dialog I recall from "JT" takes place in the kitchen after Grandma arrives from the bus station:
Grandma: (to JT) What you want for Christmas, Child?
JT: I want me this cat I found. Can it stay with me?
Mom: (defeated) Just what I need, another mouth to feed.

Bummer for JT.
Face it, we are dared, double dog dared, triple dared,
oh, go ahead - we're triple dog dared! That means we just have to do it, it's a triple dog dare. No choice. Just have to do it.
Buy less and care more.
That's a bigger challenge than sticking your tongue to a frozen flagpole.

-- and when you do get what you want,
don't shoot your eye out with it.

Thanksgiving 2005

2005-11-23T08:55:00.000-05:00

click photo to enlarge in new window

Why this is the best holiday:

Corn bread - it's so good as dressing, stuffing, muffins, even for breakfast as a corn meal pancake.

Planes, Trains, & Automobiles (1987 film) - Steve Martin & John Candy can't get home. Ever been there? Ever said "If I ever get home I'm going to nail my feet to the ground"?

Hanging out in a warm kitchen (where the action is) while the slack-jawed stare at the boob-tube.

No pressure to get meaningful gifts. Bring what you enjoy and share.

Eat, relax, have dessert, walk - but not too far, get warm, TV, eat, relax, repeat.

Long distance phone calls are a convenient escape hatch. Most people are available for the call and are mellowed-out too!

Holidays are just starting so Santa & his minions have yet to be overdone.
This year I woke up to "Little Drummer Boy" on my clock radio alarm - before Halloween. I said before Halloween!
I changed the alarm before I did anything else that morning.
Now I wake safely to a CD.
Pah-rum-pum-pum-pum on that October morning was worse than the morning the station was playing "Tie a Yellow Ribbon" when the alarm went off. Both times I had to tell myself "this shouldn't ruin your day".

---------------------
And,
Two sets of prose supporting the theory
"why this is the best holiday":

To Autumn
Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness!
Close bosom-friend of the maturing sun;
. . . (see comments)
- John Keats. 1795–1821
---------------------

Got my ticket, grabbed my load.
Conductor done yelling all aboard.
Find a seat and rare way back.
Watch this train going down the track.
Bring it on home.
(paraphrased)
---------------------

College football rivalry season

2005-11-20T08:57:00.000-05:00

click photo to enlarge in new window

It begins this weekend, the 3 weekend span of the most intense pigskin match-ups.
I like what the Wall Street Journal said today:
"The winners are usually seen carrying off some explicable trophy like a skillet, an axe, or a wagon wheel".

USC Trojans vs. UCLA Bruins (whatsa Bruin?). This years game could be a classic, they're both good again.

Texas Longhorns vs. Texas A&M Aggies (one sided to U of Texas, but emotional still).

The "Big Game" between Stanford and Cal - although many dislike their claim to the nickname "Big Game", they have a right to it: a few years ago the daughter of a sitting President of the USA chose to attend Stanford. I doubt she even considered my alma mater. Throw in UC Berkeley and that's big, son. Add "The Play" to the claim and who can argue except the jealous? Or those that actually follow football - no upsets, low ticket demand, but games are close and it means something to 'em. As if they don't have enough else to brag about...

Florida Gators vs. Florida State Seminoles. Imagine a Seminole warrior on horseback spiking a flaming spear at midfield then screaming at the sky. Do you know of any more impressive way to get up for a game? I got goosebumps thinking about it.

Georgia Bulldogs vs. Rambling Wrecks from Georgia Tech.
[side note: Go ACC basketball! The best round ball in the world!]

Alabama Crimson Tide vs. Auburn War Eagles: a sacred experience, most costly ticket. Lives revolve around the schedule - funerals are postponed (put Grandma on ice, we've got a game to win!)

BYU vs. Utah - the Holy War, a big game to someone, bless their hearts.

Army - Navy. Most sober student section, best organized, least colorful, older fans like it but is it college?

Virginia vs. Virginia Tech - the stadium with the highest GPA on the field, I'll bet.

and so on; all in all a good way to spend a Saturday.
especially when it's:
University of South Carolina Fighting Gamecocks
vs. Clemson University
Everybody likes to beat Clemson, their athletics are consistently tops across the board. Womens Volleyball, B-ball, you name the sport, they've probably had at least one national championship.
But teach your kids the ABCs, Anywhere But Clemson.

Go Go Gamecocks! (Wins mean more when they're rare.)
Go Cocks! Beat Clemson!

Sunday fun with a crab

2005-11-06T16:20:00.000-05:00

click image to enlarge in new window

The temperature was the 70s, we went to the beach.
After a swim we sat.
It didn't take long to find entertainment using a fierce-looking shell in a tidal pool.

1st: Place a 250 million year old living fossil in plain site near a tourist walking area.
2nd: Sit back and watch the reactions as group after group see it near their bare feet.

Fun for hours!
Each group of beachcombers will think they've discovered the monster.

Four football throwing boys stopped and dared each other to see if it would move - they moved on without getting too close.

One kid was double-dog-dared to touch it, so he got a long stick and was going to mess with it until another kid pushed him from behind.
He jumped and yelped like a schoolgirl. They played like they were mad at each other, using that distraction as an honorable escape from the horror.

Several sets of footprints walked comma shaped detours around the threat.

Elderly women warned their men to steer clear!
Either the men agreed & complied or they ignored the warning while suddenly getting interested in something way over there, in the safe viewing zone.

These horseshoe crabs aren't concerned about having fun on a Sunday afternoon.
They can go a year without eating! Along with cockroaches (& the meek), they shall inherit the earth.

facts:
The Horseshoe Crab has light blue copper-based blood.
They eat at night and burrow for worms and mollusks, feeding with their dozen legs (most with claws).

The eyes have a range of about 3 feet and are used only for locating mates.
Each spring during the high tides of the new and full moons the females arrive by the thousands.
Males, 1/3 the size of females, cluster along the water's edge as the females arrive.
The male hangs on to the female's shell and is pulled up the beach to the high tide line.
She pauses every few feet to dig a hole and deposit as many as 20,000 pearly green, birdshot-sized eggs.
He tags along in tow. Smiling, even grinning & giggling, no doubt. You know.

Masks were used from their skeletons back in the days when people wanted a threatening mask.

Next Sunday:
Chapter 2 of Pass Times 101.
"Gluing a Dollar Coin to the Floor; Observations and Techniques. "
Bonton Press, all rights reserved

Got Wood!

2005-11-01T11:16:00.000-05:00

Good wood - for a fire.
Since there's no perspective on this photo I'll spell it out:
this woodpile is about 12 feet high, the base of the tree was over 4 feet in diameter. These logs are too big for a person to handle, we had hydraulics doing the heavy lifting.
Too bad we had to cut it down but look at the internal rot in the trunk - would have come down during our next Hurricane, which may happen at any moment the way it's going these days.
Hurricane Sigma - the summation of all storms (a calculus joke). I don't hear anyone laughing but one nerd snorted milk out his nose. Sigma. Summation. Hardee-har nerd-o.

We need this wood for the upcoming holidays, hey it's November already.
Prepare now for your oyster roast, pig picking, and New Years Eve bonfire! Ain't a party 'till something gets burned!
Need any wood? Over here, come & get it but you must invite me to the burning!

Raven and full moon

2005-10-31T13:34:00.000-05:00

Happy Halloween 2005
Not a scary image but it has all the components:
raven, full moon, remote coastal town (think of Hitchcocks "the Birds").

Maybe it's not creepy due to blue sky, the lone bird is just hanging out, and I was in a great mood when I took this photo. The cool vibe of a Spring Sunday afternoon walk overpowers any Halloween macabre.
Was hiking along the Northern California coast in Point Reyes National Seashore.
One of my favorite places in the world, Point Reyes includes Limontour Beach where the waves break with a perfect sound. Each wave is a shore-break; the sets surge in with a whoosh and whoomp sound. They often have an air pocket trapped in the tube that blurps out with a whale or porpoise breaching sound.
On the north end of Limontour sea lions are laying about, on the south end are waterfalls from the cliffs, running directly into the Pacific.
Kite surfing, horses, beach bonfires, isolation.
Now that's a nice beach, eh?

He's pitching a tent

2005-10-15T15:21:00.000-05:00

Really, literally.
What?

Scene of a wedding

2005-10-15T13:00:00.000-05:00

This is why I have not posted in a week:

click to enlarge in new window (large file)

Not only was I been busy with the logistics,
but I've also had to cope with the mental aspects
of the whole shebang.
Someone else got to go to Las Vegas
while I stayed to clean up - traumatic!

National Wild and Scenic Rivers, SC & NC

2005-09-25T10:53:00.000-05:00

Such as the Chattooga, the Nantahala, and the Whasitcalhuh.

click to enlarge in new window

Count the 7 hill ranges - the last one is faint, on the horizon.
We swam in several rivers, camped, hiked along ridgelines and alongside the whitewater.
Snorkeled in the billibongs. Strong current! Strong current!
How To:
Get underwater. Find large anchored stones and hook your arm to keep from moving downstream faster than you know is safe.
I surfed several slick rocks while under 4 feet of water by planting my feet, leaning upstream and letting it scoot me along.
Surfed that mountain!
A good ride was had by all.

Whitewater Falls

2005-09-23T10:50:00.000-05:00

On the NC, SC border.

Top of Panthertown Valley

2005-09-22T10:47:00.000-05:00

A good spot for lunch after a swim in a waterfall, a hike through varied foliage, and before more "wild and scenic" river action.
That's the official title: "National Wild and Scenic Rivers".
So I shouted "wild and scenic" when I changed from my hiking shorts into my bathing suit in front of God, the water, and the trees.

Cooling feet at Devils Elbow

2005-09-22T09:34:00.000-05:00

This was an intricate formation in Panthertown.
Way upstream the Devils Elbow started out deep and seemed still. It dropped, turned left, right, went who knows where, then came out around here where we accessed it again. Plenty of wash-out spots to get in if you want cold jacuzzi invigoration.

I'd like to thank . . . .

2005-09-21T07:00:00.000-05:00

. . . The SFGate, the online arm of the San Francisco daily newspaper.
They asked for a defining image of summer 2005.
One of the top 5 selected images was our July 4th post:
SFGate Culture Blog:Summer 2005
(scroll down to the sunflower)

they wrote to us:
"Your many "fans of bigbonton" are enthusiastic lobbyists
with a keen eye for talent."

Thanks! You flatter me.
Keep those cards and letters coming!

mid-September, on the road again

2005-09-19T17:06:00.000-05:00

Harvest Moon 2005 rising over the old Hwy 40 in western Colorado. Heading east to Denver after a Rocky Mountain excursion.

Yes, this is a recent photo, not a shot from last October 2004.
Needed some thin dry air after surviving my most humid and sweaty summer in decades in the Sea Islands of the Low Country.

Colorado wildflowers on Table.

2005-09-19T16:35:00.000-05:00

click on image to enlarge in new window

South Table Rock, Golden, CO

2005-09-19T08:10:00.000-05:00

We hiked to the top of the butte / mesa after work.

Above the Alpine Tundra.

2005-09-18T16:32:00.000-05:00

click on image to enlarge in new window

This marker is also called the top of the Rockies although it's not over 14,000 feet up. It shows direction and distance.
I just love saying "alpine" and "tundra"
so when I can say "Alpine Tundra", well, yee-Haa!

Bull Elk

2005-09-17T16:24:00.000-05:00

A bit grainy, this big guy stood head-and-shoulders taller than everything. Add the rack and he was Moose sized.
A whole lotta meat!

Meadow in Rocky Mtn National Park.

2005-09-16T13:00:00.000-05:00

click on image to enlarge in new window

Fly fishing on the left, rushing waters on the right, peaks ahead. In every view there is always a larger peak looming in the distance.

yellow Aspens 2005

2005-09-11T16:52:00.000-05:00

a bit early in the season, off in the distance

Hanging Lake

2005-09-11T13:57:00.000-05:00

click on image to enlarge in new window

Hanging Lake II

2005-09-11T13:56:00.000-05:00

click on image to enlarge in new window

Hanging Lake III

2005-09-11T01:55:00.000-05:00

click on image to enlarge in new window
This was a little Hawaiian Eden in the Rockies.
To get there step 1.2 miles up a 1200 Ft elevation gain.
Near Glenwood Canyon, Colorado.
We're big fans of canyons, they have the most dramatic features.

Baseball in Denver

2005-09-09T18:41:00.000-05:00

Colorado Rockies vs Arizona Diamondbacks

Of course the Rockies lost, not even close.
Saw Arizona Diamondbacks second basemen Craig Counsell bat with that peculiar stance he has.

Better hurry if you want to see the Rockies play, it's late September, they won't play much longer this year.
For you un-sporting readers: this is a post season play-offs joke.
- I once went to Wrigley Field. The Cubs were not playing, it was October . . . (same joke).

Does anyone know why the AZ pitcher was thrown out of the game? Happened in the 9th inning & by then we were having too much fun in the stands to pay much attention.

Spiders from Mars

2005-09-06T08:08:00.000-05:00

A Kansas City-based UFO expert says Mars is inhabited by giant spider-like creatures.
The expert also says orbiting Mars probes have photographed large sponge-like creatures similar to tumbleweeds rolling across the Martian landscape on a regular basis.
The floating, rolling, and tumbling process is apparently an established transportation method.

In this actual photograph (above), local NASA affiliate bonton laboratory has re-created an image from the red planet to enlighten our readers. The use of night vision lenses resulted in the green hue.
(He took it all too far, but boy could he play guitar)

Faces in the Water

2005-08-31T11:31:00.000-05:00

Look!

So far 3 visions have materialized in the above photo.
So go ahead & look. Stare, you will see.

It is now nearly impossible to tell
where Lake Pontchartrain ends and the city of New Orleans begins.
The Crescent City is practically destroyed ...

Katrina and the Wave has harshed our mellow.

Don't it make you feel bad
When you're tryin' to find your way home,
You don't know which way to go?

Cryin' won't help you, prayin' won't do you no good,
When the levee breaks, mama, you got to move.

All last night sat on the levee and moaned,
Thinkin' about my baby and my happy home.

Mean old levee taught me to weep and moan,
Oh, well, oh, well, oh, well.

- LED ZEPPELIN - When The Levee Breaks

Cactus Bloom

2005-08-18T16:30:00.000-05:00

This is the bloom of a cactus plant, do you know the name?
[see comments: Hairy Giant Starfish Flower, a carrion flower]

It blooms at night, stays open for about 1 day then wilts.
During that time it stinks - hints of low tide, spoiled seafood, dead fish, etc. Some fragrance!

I think I've heard of these in Death Valley, CA.
A backpacker said they awoke to find their desert world alive with beautiful blooms but it took a while for them to connect those flowers to the stinking smell they also awoke to, described as "dirty feet" or "hiking boots with a special Death Valley sauce", and "something very wrong that we must fix right away".

The blossom features tiny hairlike projections (not captured in the photo), very fine and beautiful. Nice pattern and the sort of plant you want to touch.
On the right are 3 pods that will bloom next, one at a time, at night, lasting for one day. Hold your nose! One bloom at a time sounds like Mother Nature doesn't want to stink you out, just wants to broadcast and protect the short lived blossom.

Nice cactus bloom visually and tactilely, but olfactorily it is a real piece of work. What a mechanism to pollinate and defend itself, it stinks!
If only it were that easy for me.
I can stink with the best of 'em.

blue crab boiler

2005-08-06T16:55:00.000-05:00

Feeding the masses.

click photo to enlarge in new window

See how Blue the Blue Crabs are pre-steaming?

We spent hours cooking and eating several tubs of these blue crabs,
along with shrimp, flounder, new potatoes, corn on the cobb, sausages,
and anything else that wasn't nailed down.

Catch It.
Cook It &
Eat It!

Elvis Lives!
He stopped by Saturday night, looked good,
was cutting up with the karate chops in the yard with the kids.
What an appetite!

tray full of food at Lester's BBQ

2005-08-06T12:05:00.000-05:00

Write-up to follow, right now I'm too BBQ blissed out
to speak.

click photo to enlarge in new window

This is a 5 star establishment.

Shut up sammich

2005-08-04T16:55:00.000-05:00

This is what you get
when you do not time your lunch right.

click photo to enlarge in new window

Showing up for lunch at 3pm does not get you into the BBQ buffet (which was our reason for being there).
For now I'm not naming any names of this Q joint because I want to return during normal hours to review this establishment with a post-BBQ-buffet glow.
They are deserving of your business and my off-schedule experience may dampen your enthusiasm for patronizing the joint. It's a family biz and they're good folks.
Founder Big Pappy (BBQ pseudonym) made a leap of faith and tried to provide for his boys by starting a restaurant during the depression by selling the family cow and mule - their source of dairy and veggies.
One son, the proprietor of this place, might have eaten a lot of cabbage cole slaw while growing up.

For you soft handed urbanites:
cow = milk, butter, cheese;
mule = plow, thus = vegetable garden.
Email me for further clarification, including "what's a mule?".
Also welcome are reader comments on "40 acres & a mule", the allegory of dead mules in Southern literature, or covers of "Mule Skinner Blues".

back to the story.
The place has been around a while, they have good food. Seen above are:

mustard base BBQ sauce. Tangy with mustard and vinegar,
this sauce wants to be a symbol of SC BBQ
and it is a metaphor of the economic situation of South Carolina.
It's an isolated sauce, found only in regional enclaves.
While worthy and competitive it is not well known nor much sought after beyond its origin primarily due to unpolished presentation and being overshadowed by more effective communication delivered by the BBQ of neighboring NC, GA, VA.
As goes mustard BBQ sauce
so goes South Carolina's economic indicators.

The one huge onion ring has more batter than the law allows.
But since it looks like the Apple QuickTime logo I like it. I just didn't eat it without peeling off all that fried batter.

The sandwich was good but we came for their buffet with smoked meat, this is some sort of potroasted or oven cooked pork. While tasty and tender it's just a sandwich on a bad wonderbread burger roll, not that fire & smoke-based cooking we've been spoiled by.
Oh! I just realized what this sandwich is made of: Buffet leftovers.

I hung out a while and read the local free rag with the "shut up" hand on the cover. Lunch after 3pm did get me a good caffeine buzz - refills from the self-serve soda stand. Enough so that while awake at 12:45 AM I figured I'd had way too much diet coke 7 hours prior.

Stand by for their full review!

Ol' Snake Boot

2005-08-01T00:01:00.000-05:00

Snake Boot / cargador de la serpiente

click to enlarge

Snake Skin boots con Snake Head.
It took at least one snake per boot.
I couldn't decide which profile I liked best so the whole collage gets posted for your pleasure. Can't you just hear the snake rattle?

Hint Hint:
Only 16 more shopping days until my Birthday on the 17th.
Hint Hint:
Snake Skin boots never go out of style . . .
But those heads would soon be kicked loose,
I stub my toes daily.
They wouldn't look so vicious / vicioso
after a few days on my feet.

While daydreaming about wearing these bad snake headed boots I got one mango and one coconut frozen fruit on a stick.
The cashier was busy with a fly-swatter
keeping the place fly-free, which took some faith that it was even possible.
Good for her,
gracious, I mean gracias!

Seafood Social

2005-07-17T18:00:00.000-05:00

This photo shows my chow position at the sawhorse and plywood table.
We are way out here where the June Bugs sing, the locusts drone and the humidity has won.
Give it up y'all, looking calm cool & collected
just ain't gonna happen tonight.

This is my corner of the table:

click on them to name those bugs!

As the Czechs in Bohemia say, it's "cucumber season",
with all the double entendre a hot summer deserves.

Shed your addiction to comfort, it's making you soft.
Release the pretense, be so sans souci,
do without dippity do for a day. Feel a bead from your own cooling system trickle down your scalp.
Just leave it and get elemental.
Drop any effort in an outdoors of consumption, sweat & talk.
We socialize by melting together.

Ladies: any makeup, disco war paint, or Kabuki mask will not work out here in this steamed Eden.
Go au naturale or stay miles away in your A/C protected safe zone,
lest your face appears to melt when that face-paint drips and smears.

Uh . . . when I said "go au naturale", um, before you show up nude, dropping into our al fresco neither region, . . .
oh, drop it, it's too darn hot.
Just show up with
baby powder & a smile in your T-shirt & shorts.

Guys: Summer is on us like a load.
Either your sit-up regime has paid off or Dunlap disease has taken over since winter, as in your belly done lapped over your belt.
Let your shirt stick to your back but don't let your posture melt. Smile while telling a light hearted tale when it's your turn to entertain.
Expound on the art of the peel-&-eat. Eat with your hands, play with your food - especially the claws.

Hot & Humid Hints:
A white T does not show perspiration like a color T.
White is this seasons black.
It's OK to bring an extra dry shirt. Some bring hand towels to prevent excess drippage.
Avon Skin-So-Soft for the Ladies and Bait Shop for men is the fragrance du jour.
Nervous or Sour? Stay away, the air is thick enough without attitude. We're surviving this together &
we are having fun (yet) it sure is hot.
(long deep breath, exhale & sigh)

There's more than plenty to eat.
Hang around, slouch, lean, talk, peel shrimp, crack crab, look around, listen to how loud bugs and frogs can be in real life.

Just go slow, take it easy.
The only rush: drink fast to enjoy a cool beverage or two from under the ice. Rationale: liquids return to a luke-warm state real quick 'round here.
We're way down yonder where the wild things are.

For our Eastern European cousins that think
seafood looks like insects, there's sausage-kolbasz, corn du la cob, even potatoes-krumpli. You crazy dry-heat landlocked Euro's, I know you're reading this in Prague, Budapest, Pecs, Krokow: tudod es az nem boi. Sammi boi, ez nyaris most. Boldog Nyar ket-ezer-ot. Vagyok kes delis, delirious, delicious. [Spelling corrections welcome]

+ 92 degrees, + 95% humidity.
Stay in the shade & detox through steambath dining.
A mid-summer purification ritual!

Steamy weather

2005-07-10T14:30:00.000-05:00

click photo to enlarge

Sky is overcast from the category 4 Hurricane in the Gulf.

The new Arthur Ravenel Jr. Bridge towers are
758 feet above Charleston Harbor.

Chucktown's new bridge

2005-07-10T13:01:00.000-05:00

Walked the new Cooper River Bridge:

click photo to enlarge
The Arthur Ravenel Jr. Bridge.
Towers are 572 feet above the roadway.
Roadway is 186 feet above Charleston Harbor.

The little bridgetop on the left is the old
John P. Grace Bridge,
built way back in 1929. Still in use!
It's the "old Cooper River bridge" and is a
two lane - too narrow - too scary bridge
with metal grates on the roadway at the top that make a loud tire noise like the bottom fell out just as you got to the top and the car is plunging.

If you have the nerve you can look through the
metal grate roadway down to the water.
Way Down!

Mammoth Sunflower

2005-07-04T09:35:00.000-05:00

U-Shuck Corn 10 cents an ear.
102F heat index.
Rain & thunder from 1 am to 4 am.
Spent Saturday drifting downstream in tea colored water.
Spent Sunday scratching whelps on my legs from mosquito bites or maybe I have fleas. Doesn't matter, it's been a wonderful 4th.

Happy Fourth Of July 2005

2005-07-04T06:04:00.000-05:00

PS:
end of summer 2005:
This photo won an award
SFGate Culture Blog:Summer 2005
(scroll down to the sunflower)

If you came here through the SFGate link, try also this other July 4th Post.
and don't forget the
Main Page

Miss Watermelon Queen 2005

2005-06-25T13:21:00.000-05:00

working the crowd at the
50th Annual Watermelon Festival,
Hampton, South Carolina.

The Queen was wonderfully gracious when I approached asking for a photo. She carried herself with elegant poise and made me feel like an old friend - at a proper distance, of course.
Thanks for the photo-op & enjoy your reign!

Miss Wade Hampton High 2005

2005-06-25T13:18:00.000-05:00

working the crowd at
the 50th Annual Watermelon Festival,
Hampton, South Carolina.
The Queen has a seasoned entourage. They know to scatter off-screen during photo shoots. They reconvene immediately after the image of The Queen is captured for posterity.
Her minions mill about her, tossing out observations for The Queen to latch onto. The Buzz is contagious.
Oh no higher reward than to please The Queen!

Crepe Myrtle

2005-06-24T13:14:00.000-05:00

Note the wisp of Spanish Moss.
Happy Happy Joy Joy

Sea Wolf IV

2005-06-16T13:01:00.000-05:00

seawolfcharter.com
A catamaran with new twin Cummings, we made 28 and 30 knots offshore.
Captain Wally knows his stuff & knows a good time.
"A good time was had by all"

Mess o'Fish

2005-06-16T13:00:00.000-05:00

photo below, from the top:
1) Spanish Mackerel, caught trolling over the Betsy Ross Reef
LORAN C-45504.1/61061.9 // GPS-32 03.427/080 24.851
2) A large mouth surprise photo'd at the dock. I shot this one.
With this camera. It was much larger than the cooler it was draped over - about 4 feet of solid fish not including the tail. He could swallow your head up to your shoulders.
3) Sea Bass, from 40 miles offshore. Not telling where. Off Hilton Head in the Atlantic. Look at those eyes - clear means fresh.

click the photo!
Actual fish are larger than they appear.
I grin everytime I read that.

Quite a haul & by the time I reeled in my last thundering Sea Bass of the day I'd fished myself out. We got a big laundry basket full of fish. Even after cleaning we had a cooler stuffed full of meat.

At the reef our Spanish Mackerel catches were often partials - barracuda found us and were biting off our Spanish Mackerel catch before we could land them. We were pulling up heads or fish with a significant bite missing from their abdomen.

More yapping about fishing:
"I" caught the biggest shark until my buddy one-upped me. But mine fought more!
"I" also made the biggest commotion over nothing, hooting & crowing while reeling in a "shark or something" that turned out to be some sort of epileptic sand dab / guppy. It felt big. Perhaps a shark did a bait & switch?
"I" claim to have caught the most, but admit most of mine were from an Elementary School and were tossed back to graduate.

One undisputed superlative "I" earned:
"I" tossed cookies the most. Twice.
Nobody else got sick over the side although some looked like they felt like it on a few trolls. When I hurled my experience at sea showed. Everyone agreed that I really know how to barf with finesse.
Along with the "Most Urps" award "I" also earned the "Best Bounce-Back" award: "I" ralphed, "I" rinsed my mouth, blew my nose to clear the stomach acid from my sinuses, and "I" re-started fishing & yapping again without delay.

"I" persevered against these obstacles and kept on fishing.
Then I accused a guy of hogging the "Luck Corner" of the boat when he caught several in a row and I was on a dry spell.
Fish, Fish, fish-fish. Fishing!

dangerously seductive enchantress

2005-06-11T12:45:00.000-05:00

Her name is Eve.
She is in league with the serpent and the world is wrapped around her finger.
Eve is looking at you. perhaps thou art next for her.
"Take a bite of the apple, don't you want to know what it's like?"
If Man looketh directly into her eyes his free will shall be lost.
Enjoy your eternity.

Memorial Day 2005

2005-05-30T17:49:00.000-05:00

A serene photo for all Airmen, Marines, Soldiers, Sailors, Merchant Seamen and all the ships at sea.
Semper Paratus!
Semper Fi!

We came, we casted, we cooked.
Let Summer 2005 begin!

Warsaw feng shui

2005-05-29T17:46:00.000-05:00

photo from an apartment of a friend in Warsaw, Poland.
He says he feels a stiffness or soreness in his neck and shoulder.
I asked "on the right side?".
He: "Yes, yes, do you have any idea how to cure this sharp pain?"
I: Hmm, let me think . . . rearrange your furniture?

Celery

2005-05-24T11:41:00.000-05:00

Some of you have accused me of having too much time on my hands.
One reader even mentioned "idle hands are the devils workshop"
Au contraire! Not true! Here's proof:
Celery + blue food coloring = Celery dot jpeg.
Where's the devil in that?
Just goes to show you, when people criticize you they are jealous.
Now let's all get back to work!

BBQ in NC

2005-05-19T13:02:00.000-05:00

North Carolina BBQ is the next frontier for our excursion
And what a fitting place for it to begin.
This place has
- NASCAR memorabilia aplenty,
- Eastern NC style vinegar-based Q,
- pretty country-girl waitresses,

and getting there involves so many turns

on sporadically-marked country roads

I must advise you to have a full tank of gas and a bottle of water before you get underway.

No map can help you on these backroads,

enlist the services of a guide sympathetic to the mission.

No photo on this one,
it would have been like photographing something sacred or holy.

their card:
Lancaster's
Eastern N.C. style
Bar-B-Cue
Cooked Fresh Daily
Rinehardt Rd.
Mooresville, NC
704-663-5807
Fax 704-663-7407
VM 704-662-7455

It looks odd to me to see a fax # and VM # on a card,

but they didn't ask my advice on their info-flow.

Gary's Bar-B-Q

2005-05-18T14:25:00.000-05:00

click photo to enlarge in new window

I love places that have their own postcards!
On his Gary states:

Gary's Bar-B-Q
China Grove, NC
Located on Hwy 29-601
We are famous for our good Bar-B-Q
Dining Room-Curb Service and catering
Decorated inside with hundreds of antique advertisements
Open Monday thru Saturday 10:00 A.M. 9:30 P.M.
Closed Sundays-Phone (704) 857-8314

BBQ Plate at Gary's

2005-05-18T11:24:00.000-05:00

click photo to enlarge in new window

North Carolina Q is unique. Consistently the most tender with a taste that stays fresh. This was the chopped version (as opposed to pulled, AKA shredded).

Gary served his Bar-B-Q plate with a version of cole slaw I've never seen (top center of plate), a reddish hue from red pepper? Or tomatoes? Finely diced or minced, it had typically tasty but unknown ingredients. A well done mix of somethings.
Hush Puppies had that grainy corn meal goodness and were not oily.
A tomato slice topped with a dollop of mayonnaise for those that like it, I always shy away from eating anything that looks like mayo but I cleaned my plate like a good guest to China Grove, NC.

Note the visor. I've come a long way from that camouflage cap in Natchez, Mississippi:
"Eureka! Perfect BBQ is Found"

This visor was a gift from an American entrepreneur.
This exact visor is the beta "LKNative" product line, the "Lake Norman Native" parody of those LKN (Lake Norman) bumper stickers reported to be sported by area newcomers trying to be "Local-er-than-thou".
Available for those in the know, email us (hit "reply email " on top left of page)
to get a hookup with the insiders goods for all y'all Charlotte, Lake Norman, Davidson and Mooresville hipsters. The Summer 2005 must-have accessory!
Remember that Hilton Head T-shirt "I'm not a tourist, I live here"?
Hey if it worked for me then you too can hook up this summer with your LKNative gear!

Gary's waitress was a Melanie Griffith double & could pass for 16 years old but a more impartial eye said she's about 22. She has a 3 year old son, so again (see prior post below) they breed young around here and again I see why it's hard for 'em to resist. She provided mo'tea like a champ, I pretended it was because she thought I was special (she didn't). They have that great crunchy ice, I had to get one last hit for the road. Our driver was coveting a vintage VW microbus getting curb service and spilled his to-go tea all over the parking lot but I never considered sharing mine; it was one of the first hot muggy days.

This excursion marked the 1st time I rode shotgun on a BBQ tour.
After more than 8,000 miles I'm open for drivers interested in chauffeuring an excursion-mobile to the next pit stop. BBQ pit, that is.
If you apply for an excursion remember the 2 rules:
no fast food and no Interstate highways

North Carolina Fried Pickles

2005-05-13T12:13:00.000-05:00

click photo to enlarge in new window

Regarding Fried Pickles
Let me get two things out of the way:
1/ The worst thing about fried pickles is the idea of fried pickles.
2/ The second worst thing about fried pickles is encouraging the stereotype of Southern Fried everything, which would not have been an issue if I’d had my first fried pickle in Napa, Chinatown, or San Francisco. And I would have except I never saw any fried pickles on the appetizer menu in those particular locales.

Stereotypes are based on something and I did have my first fried pickle slice in a small North Carolina town known for its close NASCAR affiliation, NASCAR being quite a Southern thing. Or thang, y’all. [side note: I learned the origin of the phrase “git ‘er done” while on this excursion]. This Carolina-ville features a lake and shiny-happy kids walking to school with a white picket fence. It's the type of idealized small town America that real estate marketing departments try to recreate in their planned communities. Here there are no gates with security codes protecting the community, just neighbors that know more about you than you may wish, but they also know what’s going on and will not hesitate to eyeball activities from the front porch for the common good. All located on the opposite side of the state from Mount Olive, home of the giant pickle corporation that you might expect to promote anything as long as it sells pickles. Inside tip: check your Sprawl-Mart grocers shelves for Extreme Fried pickles - microwaveable and available in the bread & butter event or the gherkin experience.

While eating we did not see any NASCAR celebrities but since this fried pickle stand is covered with mucho stock car racing memorabilia (I’m trying to avoid typing NASCAR again) in the way that only stock car racing (avoiding saying NASCAR again) can cover every inch with a logo, we did not lack for any stock car racing sights. Our waitress said we just missed some [NASCAR] racing celebrity whose name was unknown to me anyway. I’ll bet she says that to all her tables. Our waitress sure was pretty & healthy in that small town way. She was quick without seeming rushed or harried. She worked hard with a calmness, was not over caffeinated to get though her shift. She let us know that her son has outgrown Little League so he now plays softball. Doing some mental math, we surmised that they breed young around here. Looking at her, I understand why (& how).

The fried pickle appetizers are served by a “Sonny” whose father (“Daddy”?) owns the only seafood place in town. Sonny owns the only BBQ place in town. A mini food service dynasty since there no other dining choices within 25 miles that is not a chain, franchise, or StarBucko-McBell.

I like fried pickles. You would like them too. If you ever have the opportunity to order them remember to keep your mind as open as your mouth.
Tastes like salt & vinegar potato chips, without the crunch.

Full disclosure, not sure of the connection:
In a party of 3,
One-third of the diners barfed within 3 hours of eating fried pickles.
A second one-third tossed his cookies 2 days later. That second diner to erp-up has a stomach of legendary endurance, so the 2 day vomit delay may not negate a link to this novelty appetizer.
Come to think of it, the remaining one-third of the sample diners didn’t eat any fried pickles & she didn’t upchuck at all (at last survey).
Just the facts. Any causal relationship must be determined.

I’d eat fried pickles again. I draw the line at deep fried Twinkies since I am on a Twinkie-free diet. The origin of those Twinkies being deep fried is at a state fair in Ohio, which is not a Southern state (so there). Which also explains why I’ve never had deep fried Twinkies: I’ve just never had the opportunity . . .

How To Do It

2005-05-03T10:51:00.000-05:00

She's the Queen Source of Information

We celebrate access to information and she's holding the guide book. Venetian blinds open, she's not afraid of the neighbors. What she is afraid of is being posted to the Internet.
BOO!
Not so bad, is it?

North end of South Island

2005-04-27T14:30:00.000-05:00

Some guys have all the luck,
others watch blinking green, amber & red lights, living through a 56Kbps hookup.

While I was trying to suppress the realization that I'd
never be elected President of the USA,
the above JPEG came in from a buddy. He's one of those guys that has it made, beautiful wife, beautiful house, steady sense of purpose, plus he's in one of the coolest places on Earth.
Abel Tazman Park, New Zealand.

Taz. Anyone ever called you Taz, as in you are the Tazmanian Devil from Looney Tunes? Don't you get called that in the Spring?

Taz. President Taz just doesn't sound Presidential.
I'll never be elected President of the USA
& I'm OK with that. Maybe I'm learning to accept my fate. Maybe it's this proper afternoon cuppa I'm having, but somehow I feel fine. Telling myself it's all just a part of growing up.

Sometimes it seems that if I lived in New Zealand or Australia I wouldn't have any problems. Since I couldn't be their Prime Minister, just being there would be success enough. No need to campaign, no debates, just shake hands and smile as needed. Everything would be upside down in that crazy land of Oz.

Some guys don't know how good they have it. Some guys learn. Some guys stay oblivious for life. Some say "supersize me" to dull the hunger.

Today is the last Wednesday in April & what have we done lately other than lived through another full moon. Sun comes up. Sun goes down. Kick in caffeine!

you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
you may find yourself in another part of the world
you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
you may find yourself in a beautiful house,
with a beautiful wife
And you may ask yourself - Well...How did I get here?

Letting the days go by / let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by / water flowing underground
Into the blue again / after the money's gone
Once in a lifetime / water flowing underground.

Same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...

And you may ask yourself
Where does that highway go to?
And you may ask yourself
Am I right? . . . Am I wrong?
And you may say to yourself
MY GOD! ...WHAT HAVE I DONE?

Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...
- once in a lifetime, Talking Heads.

The Bridge is Open.

2005-04-20T03:20:00.000-05:00

In response to your letters to the editor,
this photo can provide a pneumonic device:
This bridge is open, open to boat traffic on the intracoastal waterway.
Open like an open loop - which does not loop at all until it is a closed loop.
When the draw bridge is closed you can drive across it. If it were open you'd drive through the opening into the drink. Some people drink and drive over open draw bridges; they often drown.

These definitions apply to draw bridges. If the bridge is not a draw bridge then the terms are reversed. A closed bridge may have a "Bridge Out" sign on it if it's not a draw bridge. If it is a draw bridge then the closed draw bridge be open to autos.

Get it? Didn't mean to blow your mind.
Need another session
with Doctor Half-Explain-Everything?
Happy April 20th, 4/20.
what were you doing last year at this time?

Lunar Lilly

2005-04-13T14:27:00.000-05:00

Hey! Look at the pretty flower photo.
My secret: digital post production.

Sure is wet in the morning when you wake up so close to the high tide. Morning dew is like a light rain this time of year.
Keeps the pollen count down, which makes a noticeable difference. Everything is green, budding, shooting up from the earth.
April Showers Bring May Flowers.
I have to say that once every year.

Sunday Afternoon on idle.

2005-04-10T16:28:00.000-05:00

Amarylys, a bulb plant.

Baseball and golf tournaments on Sunday afternoon TV means time to rest in a lazy chair.
Also sat on the porch & chased plump bumblebees around with a flyswatter. They bore into wood and create a little sawdust pyramid below the hole. Amazing how quickly the bumblebees learn that the flyswatter is dangerous and to stay just out of reach. If I step forward a few feet they fly backward the same distance. I decided to use a water hose to shoo them, which was more fun than a flyswatter, especially since it was such a warm afternoon. As a bonus I cleaned off a lot of pollen. It's like dusty sand, it's everywhere!
Lazy day in April, guess I needed some R&R.

I am [not] a Kenyan

2005-04-02T09:19:00.000-05:00

click photo to enlarge

The last Cooper River Bridge Run on the old bridge.
The new bridge is above-left, the old bridge will be taken down soon to allow larger ships to come further inland.

Nice race: 2 miles to the bridge, 2 miles across the bridge (up and down, then up and down, then up then down),
2 miles through the Holy City (Charleston, SC).
+ a few scenic detours to make it an official 10k (6.21 miles).

The fun began onboard the shuttle bus to the starting line.
Our driver failed to follow the other 1,000 buses,
made 3 u-turns (in a school bus), then got out her cell phone and was heard saying "where is that starting line supposed to be at?".

About 42,000 people signed up. About 18,500 runners.
Semi-official times show I was beaten by:
one 12 year old boy, 8 men over 70, and one 60 year old woman.
Rematch with that woman! She's probably 50 years old, not 60! She puts steroids in her Sanka!

Taking photos does cut into ones time . . .
yeah, it's 'cause of the photos . . .

and hey - I was very very competitive with the
"75 and over" Female category.

Official times are coming in the mail.
I accomplished these things before 9:19am:
1) I finished. 2) No injuries. 3) A good time was had by all.
Ready for another 10k, I am hooked. This time I will even train!
Peachtree Road race? Bolder Boulder? Bay to Breakers? Bridge to Bridge?

funny 'cause it's true

2005-04-01T00:00:00.000-05:00

AP Top News 04/01/05 EST
Off the mainland coast of the Southeastern USA
March 31 - April 1, 2005

I am requesting an extension to my sabbatical.
The first 6 months went by too quickly, there is so much left to do.

Reasons (excuses) why I need an extension
by the numbers:
1. Most of the time I was on the road. I got lost in Eastern Utah and Western Colorado - I spent weeks getting back out.

2. I was the Outfitter for several excursions - that was work and took time away from my actual, official sabbatical.

3. Twice I had the flu - that shouldn't take away from my sabbatical time!

4. My head was in a cloud the whole time, too much of a good thing.
But I can see clearly now . . .

5. I don't want to die of boredom!

The extension will be requested by me, submitted to me, approved by me - but approval hinges on my being able to justify it to myself.

Justifications of why I need an extension
by the numbers:
If I extended my tour I could (in April alone):

1. Sit for the PAC 6 exam, the US Coast Guard Captains license.
Henceforth I could be addressed as "Captain" or "Skipper" and do bare boat tours and deep sea fishing trips.

2. Get a G-5 Mac with Garage Band 2 and begin serious Podcasting.

3. Help a friend get his dive boat business going.

4. Start preparations on a site for a friends eco-tourism service.

Anyone want to bet against my request for an extension being approved?

Happy April 1, 2005!
You think I'm Joking?

scanned possum

2005-03-30T15:02:00.000-05:00

or "an Opossum"? No, just go with possum.
Ever see these guys? They have an expression that is the original sh!t-eating grin.
Opossum: nocturnal arboreal marsupial having a naked prehensile tail found from southern North America to northern South America.
Yep, that naked looking tail is rat-like. But opossums are cleaner than rats, although they will go through your garbage, but hey, who doesn't like to rummage every once in a while?
I saw one the other night in my recycling, yelled at him, clapped, ran him off. He kept grinning and walked away, not the slightest bit in a hurry. Didn't even turn to look at me.

fine print:
I got a new scanner. This is a postcard, I cropped the heading "Hanging out in Georgia".
Copyright Jenkins Enterprises, North Little Rock, AR. 501-945-2600. Photo by Garry Walter.
Send money, not subpoenas.

Happy Easter 2005

2005-03-27T13:07:00.000-05:00

This cherub has seen much come and go.
Keeps facing the rising sun and holding on.

Garden in Charleston, SC

2005-03-26T15:30:00.000-05:00

This idyllic locale is a
pre-revolution colonial plantation
upstream from Charleston, S.C.
Producer of rice, indigo, mosquitos, and whatnot.
Remember triangular trade from 5th grade Social Studies?

Japanese Orchid

2005-03-25T12:59:00.000-05:00

They bloom all at once and last a short time so they're a real treat for a week or so every Spring.

Southern Pit Bar B Que

2005-03-24T21:30:00.000-05:00

I wrote 3 things on a napkin
so I'd recall what mattered:
1/ Flat Top
2/ Buttermilk
3/ Dawn '99

1/ The proprietor wore a white apron and a flat top.
He was clearly the man in charge because he spoke and others listened. Seemed like a nice guy but anybody with a flat top sans irony, well, it is a question mark, isn't it?
What to expect from someone with a haircut mentioned in the first line from the Beatles Come Together?
At least with a mullet you know you're dealing with a wild card, but a flat top, White Hanes T-shirt (too small), and a white apron - what is this, a casting call?

2/ They had buttermilk on the menu.
When's the last time you saw that? Better yet, ever said:
"and I'd like a buttermilk with that." Never.

3/ Our waitress was named Dawn.
My fellow diners said she waited on us last time we were there, circa 1999. I took their word for it because I wanted it to be true, but I started to doubt their observation because they didn't catch her name tag strategy.
I saw the name tag promptly. "Dawn" was proudly displayed on a name tag pinned to a lovely strategic location.
My fellow diners were both 80-plus year old men so maybe their eyes didn't wander to the name tag region of Dawn's uniform.
If you know what I mean, and I think that you do.

Career Waitress Dawn led our table of Senior country boys through the "confusing" menu, knelt forward and practically shouted in their face "so you want the regular dinner plate and sweet tea?"
while nodding her head "yes".
Career Waitress Dawn knows how an exchange can be simple or can go off track and take forever. She led us by the hand. Good move!

Buttermilk Dawn upsold me on desert by a slight of hand technique:
Dawn pointed to the menu on the wall while directing my eyes towards that name tag region of her uniform.
Buttermilk Dawn offered peach cobbler, then added the ice cream suggestion while she had me hyp-mo-tized.
I said yes. If Dawn wants me to have "peach cobbler a la mode" then I say
Yes, thank You, I want that which you are directing me towards.
Dawn even threw in an experienced waitress clarification saying "That's with ice cream" regarding "a la mode".

Maybe she has been there since 1999, she's Good!

Oh, & the Q.
Good Stuff, smoked.
How can food not be good when the owners card has a Bible verse on it:
"In all thy ways acknowledge Him
and He shall direct they paths".
Speaks to Faith and to trust in your creator to know your needs better than you know yourself, since He is the Creator. Understand?
Well, actually I have stayed in a few Motels that had the sign of the fish and the Cross everywhere but lacked much that good motels should have, like working light bulbs and a door knob that functions consistently, but at least they are forgiven.

Clockwise from Q:
1/ it is smoked which makes it a real A+.
So good that I got some to go, to take to the support team, it was wonderful even after frozen - still tender and smoky. I know why it's so tender but lack the room to explain right now about the Steam Table. Included a slightly sweet red sauce. Also very good, not too hot or sweet, just right.

2/ Brunswick Stew. If you cannot tell if it's stew or hash remember: stew has corn in it. It was tasty but I heard one of my 80+ year old dinner companions say it was too spicy. - sure Pops, spicy compared to oatmeal.

3/ Cole Slaw. Nice presentation with that circular dollop & a pickle slice on top. Like the way a ringing bell might taste.
You'll hear that joke again in another time, another place.

4/ Cornbread. Of course it is Yum!
Grainy goodness, cooked in a triangle to you get more crust, it's like a muffin that's all top. Get it?

Go on & get yourself some!

McGhin's Southern Pit Bar B Que
2964 North Expressway
Griffin, GA 30223
770-229-5887

Dogwood in full bloom

2005-03-23T20:09:00.000-05:00

means Easter is near.

The Private Booth

2005-03-20T15:51:00.000-05:00

with the starting line-up, then a dust-up in the first few laps.
click on the photo to enlarge - I admit it's not the best pic yet.

VIP Food: OK
VIP Booth Babes: "C+"
Overall sense of being a VIP at a "Big Event": High
- after my senses were seduced (a la wine in a soda can).

Those NASCAR Fans are intense, not like the
Frisbee crowd I usually hang with on a Sunday afternoon.

Atlanta Motor Speedway

2005-03-20T13:45:00.000-05:00

& you are there
through the magic of QuickTime.
opens in a new window

on a cellular modem @ 75MPH

2005-03-20T11:00:00.000-05:00

Just because I can, Posting to the blog while driving to Atlanta on I-20. Just passing Athens, G-A.
I am a passenger with a cell modem 56k connected Laptop struggling to hit the right keys while on a moving desk (Ford Explorer) enroute to the Atlanta Motor Speedway for my 1st photoblogging NASCAR experience. Viva la access to info. Push Button Publishing I'm an air-conditioned gypsy, I'm Mo-bile!

[Posted a few days later:
this post has no relation to the post below.
I was NOT riding in that auto-crap-mobile]

Clean your car!

2005-03-16T15:10:00.000-05:00

This mess is the responsibility of . . . I'd better not say.
But if you:
are over 40, are sporting a comb-over,
have never moved out & left home,
are driving your Fathers Oldsmobile,
and the only healthy thing you've eaten in the past
4 months or 4,000 miles
is 1 banana (evidenced by the peel in the margarine tub)
then come on cousin, get it together, will ya?

Liberty Hill Primitive Baptist Church

2005-03-14T15:18:00.000-05:00

Sounds critical to say "Primitive Baptist " but that's their name. Liberty Hill Georgia is home of some of the most interesting music and dynamic people the US of A has ever produced.

In the cemetery rests several of my ancestors, including Confederates, Colonists and Huguenots.
So this is an image of the distant future according to those folks. I think they'd say the trees are bigger now.
We're living in the future!
Lest We Forget.

Two Landmarks

2005-03-14T15:17:00.000-05:00

Q: Guess where I was last week.
I didn't actually eat there, my California constitution would not like it anymore.
Fun to see again and as the marquee says: "World Famous".

A: On the left is The Varsity, sells more onion rings than any place in the world. In the shadow of CNN and Coca-Cola HQ.

On the right is the Big Chicken. If you've ever driven in NW Atlanta, GA (Marietta, pronounced: May-retta) you've used this big 'ol sign as a landmark.
Legend has it Delta pilots couldn't land straight when the Big Chicken blew down a while back. The rebuild featured moving eyes and beak.

Legend has it alright. Uh Huh. "They say", but there's no such thing as they.

Burning Man Jr.

2005-03-01T16:51:00.000-05:00

We had a bonfire last weekend to chase away the dark.
Some picnic tables and at least one Adirondack chair
were ashes the next morning. They took a torch for the team.

::
Burning Man takes place in 6 months.
It last occurred 6 months ago. It's like we're on the dark side of the Burning Man Moon.

Burning Man's 2005 Art Theme will be
"Psyche: the Conscious, the Subconscious and the Unconscious."
Our theme explores psychology:
self-expression, self-reflection
and the unconscious power of dreams.
::
Tales from the Playa
::
You can only do things for the first time once

Pocotaligo Restaurant

2005-02-23T09:06:00.000-05:00

The latest installation at MOMA:
Pocotaligo Restaurant.
a multimedia still-life display
exploring an Americana theme.

click photo to enlarge in new window

Note the two clocks - each with their own sense of time.
Possibly the artist was using the juxtaposed beverage themed clock faces to represented an ongoing universal dichotomy and thus the epic struggle of the marketplace.

Superb expression of post-modern consumerist conflict
via the symbol of the wall clock!

Ah, the multiple levels of allegory!
Oh, the Humanity!

or is this the back room of
Harold's Country Club, Yemassee, South Carolina?
No finer food anywhere, 3 days a week.
Wednesday: dogs and burgers.
Thursday: Pot-Luck buffet
Saturday: Steak (call ahead on steak night).

Harold's Country Club
97 US Hwy 17A-21
Yemassee, South Carolina
843-589-4360
***** = 5 Stars, the food and people are wonderful.
The atmosphere is comfortable, very comfortable.
Come as you are & smile.

Manure Basics

2005-02-19T17:15:00.000-05:00

What will you do for your Saturday Bull Session?
Figuratively shoot the bull or literally spread the manure?
Decisions decisions . . . .

There's even a flower on the bag! Now that's good marketing!

Ice.

2005-02-18T09:10:00.000-05:00

Dang, it iced up since yesterday!

The deep freeze iced up, that is . . .

Wow! People toughing out a cold winter sure get bent about a sub-tropical climate! Yesterdays post triggered an avalanche of responses from Snowbirds and el Rain-os.
For those wintering in Boston, Alaska, Minnesota, and that one responder where English is a second language
(I got your point brother, you are on Planet Earth too),
OK! OK! Chill! (I crack myself up)
Here, this is for you:
we have ice too. Sure do, plenty of it, too much of it, for a few more hours anyway.

Any Archeologists out there wanting to study ice fossiled boiled peanuts labeled "1997" just hit "reply email" (top left of page) and send a self addressed stamped envelope.
Act now, offer expires around sundown when I get back from the beach.

They're re-lighting the ol' lighthouse today & I'm on the VIP list. I'm wearing a vintage Surfing Magazine T-shirt, fleece vest and Long Pants - not shorts. It's not all that warm.
Toe-tay Buckwheat?
I'm not even wearing sandals. Things are tough all over ;-)

72 degrees in February

2005-02-17T20:05:00.000-05:00

Is it getting warmer or is it just me?

so tempting to comment about how
the Valentines flowers are working, but I'm keeping it clean.
And smooth. And soft. And warm.
My mind is not in the gutter, it's in the sand dunes.
Enjoy, snowbirds! & all y'all el rain-os in CA!

Two more roses

2005-02-15T20:04:00.000-05:00

By popular demand, Red Roses.
Some of you folks are traditionalists.
You loved the Peonys & Pink Perfections but asked for the default standard - you got it!
Beautiful aren't they?
Yep, beautiful. Delicate red velvet petals.

Happy Valentines Day, Sweetheart!

2005-02-14T09:30:00.000-05:00

Don't you just love the names of things?
Like flower names. Pink Perfection.
Wow! I'm sold, sign me up. That's what I want,
Pink Perfection. Especially on 2-14.

One reader writes that today he was empty handed but his idea is to give his sweetie a nickname for Valentines.
Hmm. A nickname.
Everybody on the playground knows you cannot give yourself a nickname, but has anyone ever heard of a Valentines gift being Intellectual Property?
Free advice:
The anti-consumerism aspect of your Valentines idea is a plus, but dude - go pick some wild flowers on the way home. Even a backrub is free and it's a more tangible gift than a nickname.
You two can re-name each other while talking in the dark.

Keep those cards & letters coming!

Don't let This be You.

2005-02-13T16:36:00.000-05:00

You are a Matador.

Even wearing your Suit of Lights, one mistake and you get a schooling you don't want.
It's Sunday so you really should have taken care of business by now. You have -0- more shopping days 'til Valentines.
Do not panic!

Panic leads to egregious lapses in judgment,
as shown in these headlines:

1) Give Your Valentine the Royal treatment
Looking for Valentine dinner reservations she'll remember-always?
Tell your sweetheart you have reservations for dinner - in Cincinnati. When you pull into the White Castle parking lot, she'll definitely be surprised.
White Castle restaurants in Cincinnati are accepting reservations for dinner by candlelight. You'll receive table service complete with wait staff, from 5 to 8 p.m. Valentine's Day, Feb. 14.
-------------------------------------------------------

and this headline:
2) Real or Fake, Gas Station Flowers Gaining in Popularity
I have a story here:
Once I bought a fresh floral bouquet for her. Much ado upon presentation, I wore a rainbow aurora. I hoped to upgrade to a halo.
Ah, Foolish me . . .
I made the mistake of saying I got them at a convenient location. While in a grocery store (for her) I grabbed a cash and carry bouquet. The flowers, once their purchase venue was known, were no longer a thoughtful gift. They weren't even considered fresh anymore.
"Look at the brown spot and this one is wilting"!
My glory was fleeting.
Nothing wrong with the gift, the bouquet had glowed just moments earlier.
I botched the presentation.
Don't let this be you.

TCB early and often.
Your domestic tranquility depends on your actions.

Rose Froze

2005-02-12T08:49:00.000-05:00

It may seem counter intuitive but the best way to protect a rose in freezing weather is to encase it in ice.

Some people use counter intuitive interactions
in their inter-personal relationships.
----------------------------------------------------------
Woman jailed for ripping off lover's testicle
LONDON (Reuters) - A woman has been sentenced to two and a half years in jail for ripping off her ex-lover's testicle with her bare hands during a drunken brawl after he refused her sex.
Amanda M., 24, flew into a rage after Geoffrey J., 37, who had ended their long-term relationship, rejected her advances.
Amanda grabbed him by the genitals, tearing off his left testicle, then hid it in her mouth before a friend of Geoffrey handed it back to him saying "that's yours".

[it's not clear why a friend of Geoffrey was so conveniently located]
----------------------------------------------------------
Man Held in Chat-Room Effort at a Mass Suicide
GRANTS PASS, Ore., (AP) - A man used an Internet chat room to try to arrange a mass suicide on Valentine's Day involving more than two dozen women across the United States and Canada, the authorities say.
The man, Gerald K., 26, was arrested at his mother's mobile home and has been charged with solicitation to commit murder. The chat-room participants planned to log in on Valentine's Day and commit suicide while keeping in touch over the Internet. Investigators say the total number who planned to do so was 32.
----------------------------------------------------------
"Anyone in a new relationship should not be allowed out in public," said Liz Tuccillo, a co-author of "He's Just Not That Into You," a best-selling dating advice book.
"Sometimes people in couples don't think," she said.
----------------------------------------------------------
“Happy Loving Couples”
You know what I mean
Happy loving couples
In matching lamb turtle-neck sweaters
Reading Ideal Homes magazine
Yeah!

Wanna be, wanna really be what my friends pretend to be
Be it in my own good time
Being kind to myself till I become
one of two of a kind

Happy loving couples make it look so easy
Happy loving couples always talk so kind
Until the time that I can do my dancing with a partner
Those happy couples ain't no friends of mine

- Joe Jackson, on Look Sharp!
----------------------------------------------------------
Love is a rose. Mind the thorns.

Three days 'til V.D.

2005-02-11T10:21:00.000-05:00

An Eternity Ring.

A diamond isn't the only thing that's forever.
Valentines Day is looming.
The Greeting card/Floral/Jewelry market forces prove
that Love is a verb made tangible by a sales receipt.

Don't let your marketing-pitch-susceptible significant other think you have stiffed her.

Guys, you cannot coast on:
past dinners, backrubs, walks along the beach (at sunset), Oprah books,
toilet seats placed correctly, toothpaste tubes re-squeezed per standard,
dust bunnies hunted and captured, spiders exorcised,
any past white knight episode of the day (you got lucky once),
doors opened, cars washed, light bulbs replaced,
remembering where everything goes per prior agreement,
“does this make me look fat” answered with affection,
wearing those clothes she picked out for you at the Mall,
(she shopped, you paid, you hoped none of your friends saw you),
eating your brocolli and tofu together while watching Judging Amy,
or ending every sentence to her with “Yes M’am”.

Your prior flowers have wilted and been discarded.
On 2/14/2005: "What have you done for me lately?"

Uh-oh, I'm not helping myself out here . . . Gotta go make reservations at Chez Swank.
Gargoyle! Bring us your best Giraffe of Wine!
- a Cheech & Chong quote I'll never forget.