BBQ in NC

North Carolina BBQ is the next frontier for our excursion
And what a fitting place for it to begin.
This place has
- NASCAR memorabilia aplenty,
- Eastern NC style vinegar-based Q,
- pretty country-girl waitresses,

and getting there involves so many turns

on sporadically-marked country roads

I must advise you to have a full tank of gas and a bottle of water before you get underway.

No map can help you on these backroads,

enlist the services of a guide sympathetic to the mission.

No photo on this one,
it would have been like photographing something sacred or holy.

their card:
Lancaster's
Eastern N.C. style
Bar-B-Cue
Cooked Fresh Daily
Rinehardt Rd.
Mooresville, NC
704-663-5807
Fax 704-663-7407
VM 704-662-7455

It looks odd to me to see a fax # and VM # on a card,

but they didn't ask my advice on their info-flow.

Gary's Bar-B-Q

click photo to enlarge in new window

I love places that have their own postcards!
On his Gary states:

Gary's Bar-B-Q
China Grove, NC
Located on Hwy 29-601
We are famous for our good Bar-B-Q
Dining Room-Curb Service and catering
Decorated inside with hundreds of antique advertisements
Open Monday thru Saturday 10:00 A.M. 9:30 P.M.
Closed Sundays-Phone (704) 857-8314

BBQ Plate at Gary's

click photo to enlarge in new window

North Carolina Q is unique. Consistently the most tender with a taste that stays fresh. This was the chopped version (as opposed to pulled, AKA shredded).

Gary served his Bar-B-Q plate with a version of cole slaw I've never seen (top center of plate), a reddish hue from red pepper? Or tomatoes? Finely diced or minced, it had typically tasty but unknown ingredients. A well done mix of somethings.
Hush Puppies had that grainy corn meal goodness and were not oily.
A tomato slice topped with a dollop of mayonnaise for those that like it, I always shy away from eating anything that looks like mayo but I cleaned my plate like a good guest to China Grove, NC.

Note the visor. I've come a long way from that camouflage cap in Natchez, Mississippi:
"Eureka! Perfect BBQ is Found"

This visor was a gift from an American entrepreneur.
This exact visor is the beta "LKNative" product line, the "Lake Norman Native" parody of those LKN (Lake Norman) bumper stickers reported to be sported by area newcomers trying to be "Local-er-than-thou".
Available for those in the know, email us (hit "reply email " on top left of page)
to get a hookup with the insiders goods for all y'all Charlotte, Lake Norman, Davidson and Mooresville hipsters. The Summer 2005 must-have accessory!
Remember that Hilton Head T-shirt "I'm not a tourist, I live here"?
Hey if it worked for me then you too can hook up this summer with your LKNative gear!

Gary's waitress was a Melanie Griffith double & could pass for 16 years old but a more impartial eye said she's about 22. She has a 3 year old son, so again (see prior post below) they breed young around here and again I see why it's hard for 'em to resist. She provided mo'tea like a champ, I pretended it was because she thought I was special (she didn't). They have that great crunchy ice, I had to get one last hit for the road. Our driver was coveting a vintage VW microbus getting curb service and spilled his to-go tea all over the parking lot but I never considered sharing mine; it was one of the first hot muggy days.

This excursion marked the 1st time I rode shotgun on a BBQ tour.
After more than 8,000 miles I'm open for drivers interested in chauffeuring an excursion-mobile to the next pit stop. BBQ pit, that is.
If you apply for an excursion remember the 2 rules:
no fast food and no Interstate highways

North Carolina Fried Pickles

click photo to enlarge in new window

Regarding Fried Pickles
Let me get two things out of the way:
1/ The worst thing about fried pickles is the idea of fried pickles.
2/ The second worst thing about fried pickles is encouraging the stereotype of Southern Fried everything, which would not have been an issue if I’d had my first fried pickle in Napa, Chinatown, or San Francisco. And I would have except I never saw any fried pickles on the appetizer menu in those particular locales.

Stereotypes are based on something and I did have my first fried pickle slice in a small North Carolina town known for its close NASCAR affiliation, NASCAR being quite a Southern thing. Or thang, y’all. [side note: I learned the origin of the phrase “git ‘er done” while on this excursion]. This Carolina-ville features a lake and shiny-happy kids walking to school with a white picket fence. It's the type of idealized small town America that real estate marketing departments try to recreate in their planned communities. Here there are no gates with security codes protecting the community, just neighbors that know more about you than you may wish, but they also know what’s going on and will not hesitate to eyeball activities from the front porch for the common good. All located on the opposite side of the state from Mount Olive, home of the giant pickle corporation that you might expect to promote anything as long as it sells pickles. Inside tip: check your Sprawl-Mart grocers shelves for Extreme Fried pickles - microwaveable and available in the bread & butter event or the gherkin experience.

While eating we did not see any NASCAR celebrities but since this fried pickle stand is covered with mucho stock car racing memorabilia (I’m trying to avoid typing NASCAR again) in the way that only stock car racing (avoiding saying NASCAR again) can cover every inch with a logo, we did not lack for any stock car racing sights. Our waitress said we just missed some [NASCAR] racing celebrity whose name was unknown to me anyway. I’ll bet she says that to all her tables. Our waitress sure was pretty & healthy in that small town way. She was quick without seeming rushed or harried. She worked hard with a calmness, was not over caffeinated to get though her shift. She let us know that her son has outgrown Little League so he now plays softball. Doing some mental math, we surmised that they breed young around here. Looking at her, I understand why (& how).

The fried pickle appetizers are served by a “Sonny” whose father (“Daddy”?) owns the only seafood place in town. Sonny owns the only BBQ place in town. A mini food service dynasty since there no other dining choices within 25 miles that is not a chain, franchise, or StarBucko-McBell.

I like fried pickles. You would like them too. If you ever have the opportunity to order them remember to keep your mind as open as your mouth.
Tastes like salt & vinegar potato chips, without the crunch.

Full disclosure, not sure of the connection:
In a party of 3,
One-third of the diners barfed within 3 hours of eating fried pickles.
A second one-third tossed his cookies 2 days later. That second diner to erp-up has a stomach of legendary endurance, so the 2 day vomit delay may not negate a link to this novelty appetizer.
Come to think of it, the remaining one-third of the sample diners didn’t eat any fried pickles & she didn’t upchuck at all (at last survey).
Just the facts. Any causal relationship must be determined.

I’d eat fried pickles again. I draw the line at deep fried Twinkies since I am on a Twinkie-free diet. The origin of those Twinkies being deep fried is at a state fair in Ohio, which is not a Southern state (so there). Which also explains why I’ve never had deep fried Twinkies: I’ve just never had the opportunity . . .

How To Do It

She's the Queen Source of Information


We celebrate access to information and she's holding the guide book. Venetian blinds open, she's not afraid of the neighbors. What she is afraid of is being posted to the Internet.
BOO!
Not so bad, is it?

North end of South Island

Some guys have all the luck,
others watch blinking green, amber & red lights, living through a 56Kbps hookup.

While I was trying to suppress the realization that I'd
never be elected President of the USA,
the above JPEG came in from a buddy. He's one of those guys that has it made, beautiful wife, beautiful house, steady sense of purpose, plus he's in one of the coolest places on Earth.
Abel Tazman Park, New Zealand.

Taz. Anyone ever called you Taz, as in you are the Tazmanian Devil from Looney Tunes? Don't you get called that in the Spring?

Taz. President Taz just doesn't sound Presidential.
I'll never be elected President of the USA
& I'm OK with that. Maybe I'm learning to accept my fate. Maybe it's this proper afternoon cuppa I'm having, but somehow I feel fine. Telling myself it's all just a part of growing up.

Sometimes it seems that if I lived in New Zealand or Australia I wouldn't have any problems. Since I couldn't be their Prime Minister, just being there would be success enough. No need to campaign, no debates, just shake hands and smile as needed. Everything would be upside down in that crazy land of Oz.

Some guys don't know how good they have it. Some guys learn. Some guys stay oblivious for life. Some say "supersize me" to dull the hunger.

Today is the last Wednesday in April & what have we done lately other than lived through another full moon. Sun comes up. Sun goes down. Kick in caffeine!

you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
you may find yourself in another part of the world
you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
you may find yourself in a beautiful house,
with a beautiful wife
And you may ask yourself - Well...How did I get here?

Letting the days go by / let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by / water flowing underground
Into the blue again / after the money's gone
Once in a lifetime / water flowing underground.

Same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...

And you may ask yourself
Where does that highway go to?
And you may ask yourself
Am I right? . . . Am I wrong?
And you may say to yourself
MY GOD! ...WHAT HAVE I DONE?

Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...
- once in a lifetime, Talking Heads.

The Bridge is Open.

In response to your letters to the editor,
this photo can provide a pneumonic device:
This bridge is open, open to boat traffic on the intracoastal waterway.
Open like an open loop - which does not loop at all until it is a closed loop.
When the draw bridge is closed you can drive across it. If it were open you'd drive through the opening into the drink. Some people drink and drive over open draw bridges; they often drown.

These definitions apply to draw bridges. If the bridge is not a draw bridge then the terms are reversed. A closed bridge may have a "Bridge Out" sign on it if it's not a draw bridge. If it is a draw bridge then the closed draw bridge be open to autos.

Get it? Didn't mean to blow your mind.
Need another session
with Doctor Half-Explain-Everything?
Happy April 20th, 4/20.
what were you doing last year at this time?

Lunar Lilly

Hey! Look at the pretty flower photo.
My secret: digital post production.

Sure is wet in the morning when you wake up so close to the high tide. Morning dew is like a light rain this time of year.
Keeps the pollen count down, which makes a noticeable difference. Everything is green, budding, shooting up from the earth.
April Showers Bring May Flowers.
I have to say that once every year.

Sunday Afternoon on idle.

Amarylys, a bulb plant.

Baseball and golf tournaments on Sunday afternoon TV means time to rest in a lazy chair.
Also sat on the porch & chased plump bumblebees around with a flyswatter. They bore into wood and create a little sawdust pyramid below the hole. Amazing how quickly the bumblebees learn that the flyswatter is dangerous and to stay just out of reach. If I step forward a few feet they fly backward the same distance. I decided to use a water hose to shoo them, which was more fun than a flyswatter, especially since it was such a warm afternoon. As a bonus I cleaned off a lot of pollen. It's like dusty sand, it's everywhere!
Lazy day in April, guess I needed some R&R.

I am [not] a Kenyan

click photo to enlarge


The last Cooper River Bridge Run on the old bridge.
The new bridge is above-left, the old bridge will be taken down soon to allow larger ships to come further inland.

Nice race: 2 miles to the bridge, 2 miles across the bridge (up and down, then up and down, then up then down),
2 miles through the Holy City (Charleston, SC).
+ a few scenic detours to make it an official 10k (6.21 miles).

The fun began onboard the shuttle bus to the starting line.
Our driver failed to follow the other 1,000 buses,
made 3 u-turns (in a school bus), then got out her cell phone and was heard saying "where is that starting line supposed to be at?".

About 42,000 people signed up. About 18,500 runners.
Semi-official times show I was beaten by:
one 12 year old boy, 8 men over 70, and one 60 year old woman.
Rematch with that woman! She's probably 50 years old, not 60! She puts steroids in her Sanka!

Taking photos does cut into ones time . . .
yeah, it's 'cause of the photos . . .

and hey - I was very very competitive with the
"75 and over" Female category.

Official times are coming in the mail.
I accomplished these things before 9:19am:
1) I finished. 2) No injuries. 3) A good time was had by all.
Ready for another 10k, I am hooked. This time I will even train!
Peachtree Road race? Bolder Boulder? Bay to Breakers? Bridge to Bridge?

funny 'cause it's true

AP Top News 04/01/05 EST
Off the mainland coast of the Southeastern USA
March 31 - April 1, 2005

I am requesting an extension to my sabbatical.
The first 6 months went by too quickly, there is so much left to do.

Reasons (excuses) why I need an extension
by the numbers:
1. Most of the time I was on the road. I got lost in Eastern Utah and Western Colorado - I spent weeks getting back out.

2. I was the Outfitter for several excursions - that was work and took time away from my actual, official sabbatical.

3. Twice I had the flu - that shouldn't take away from my sabbatical time!

4. My head was in a cloud the whole time, too much of a good thing.
But I can see clearly now . . .

5. I don't want to die of boredom!

The extension will be requested by me, submitted to me, approved by me - but approval hinges on my being able to justify it to myself.

Justifications of why I need an extension
by the numbers:
If I extended my tour I could (in April alone):

1. Sit for the PAC 6 exam, the US Coast Guard Captains license.
Henceforth I could be addressed as "Captain" or "Skipper" and do bare boat tours and deep sea fishing trips.

2. Get a G-5 Mac with Garage Band 2 and begin serious Podcasting.

3. Help a friend get his dive boat business going.

4. Start preparations on a site for a friends eco-tourism service.

Anyone want to bet against my request for an extension being approved?

Happy April 1, 2005!
You think I'm Joking?

scanned possum

or "an Opossum"? No, just go with possum.
Ever see these guys? They have an expression that is the original sh!t-eating grin.
Opossum: nocturnal arboreal marsupial having a naked prehensile tail found from southern North America to northern South America.
Yep, that naked looking tail is rat-like. But opossums are cleaner than rats, although they will go through your garbage, but hey, who doesn't like to rummage every once in a while?
I saw one the other night in my recycling, yelled at him, clapped, ran him off. He kept grinning and walked away, not the slightest bit in a hurry. Didn't even turn to look at me.

fine print:
I got a new scanner. This is a postcard, I cropped the heading "Hanging out in Georgia".
Copyright Jenkins Enterprises, North Little Rock, AR. 501-945-2600. Photo by Garry Walter.
Send money, not subpoenas.

Happy Easter 2005

This cherub has seen much come and go.
Keeps facing the rising sun and holding on.

Garden in Charleston, SC

This idyllic locale is a
pre-revolution colonial plantation
upstream from Charleston, S.C.
Producer of rice, indigo, mosquitos, and whatnot.
Remember triangular trade from 5th grade Social Studies?

Japanese Orchid

They bloom all at once and last a short time so they're a real treat for a week or so every Spring.

Southern Pit Bar B Que

I wrote 3 things on a napkin
so I'd recall what mattered:
1/ Flat Top
2/ Buttermilk
3/ Dawn '99

1/ The proprietor wore a white apron and a flat top.
He was clearly the man in charge because he spoke and others listened. Seemed like a nice guy but anybody with a flat top sans irony, well, it is a question mark, isn't it?
What to expect from someone with a haircut mentioned in the first line from the Beatles Come Together?
At least with a mullet you know you're dealing with a wild card, but a flat top, White Hanes T-shirt (too small), and a white apron - what is this, a casting call?

2/ They had buttermilk on the menu.
When's the last time you saw that? Better yet, ever said:
"and I'd like a buttermilk with that." Never.

3/ Our waitress was named Dawn.
My fellow diners said she waited on us last time we were there, circa 1999. I took their word for it because I wanted it to be true, but I started to doubt their observation because they didn't catch her name tag strategy.
I saw the name tag promptly. "Dawn" was proudly displayed on a name tag pinned to a lovely strategic location.
My fellow diners were both 80-plus year old men so maybe their eyes didn't wander to the name tag region of Dawn's uniform.
If you know what I mean, and I think that you do.

Career Waitress Dawn led our table of Senior country boys through the "confusing" menu, knelt forward and practically shouted in their face "so you want the regular dinner plate and sweet tea?"
while nodding her head "yes".
Career Waitress Dawn knows how an exchange can be simple or can go off track and take forever. She led us by the hand. Good move!

Buttermilk Dawn upsold me on desert by a slight of hand technique:
Dawn pointed to the menu on the wall while directing my eyes towards that name tag region of her uniform.
Buttermilk Dawn offered peach cobbler, then added the ice cream suggestion while she had me hyp-mo-tized.
I said yes. If Dawn wants me to have "peach cobbler a la mode" then I say
Yes, thank You, I want that which you are directing me towards.
Dawn even threw in an experienced waitress clarification saying "That's with ice cream" regarding "a la mode".

Maybe she has been there since 1999, she's Good!

Oh, & the Q.
Good Stuff, smoked.
How can food not be good when the owners card has a Bible verse on it:
"In all thy ways acknowledge Him
and He shall direct they paths".
Speaks to Faith and to trust in your creator to know your needs better than you know yourself, since He is the Creator. Understand?
Well, actually I have stayed in a few Motels that had the sign of the fish and the Cross everywhere but lacked much that good motels should have, like working light bulbs and a door knob that functions consistently, but at least they are forgiven.




Clockwise from Q:
1/ it is smoked which makes it a real A+.
So good that I got some to go, to take to the support team, it was wonderful even after frozen - still tender and smoky. I know why it's so tender but lack the room to explain right now about the Steam Table. Included a slightly sweet red sauce. Also very good, not too hot or sweet, just right.

2/ Brunswick Stew. If you cannot tell if it's stew or hash remember: stew has corn in it. It was tasty but I heard one of my 80+ year old dinner companions say it was too spicy. - sure Pops, spicy compared to oatmeal.

3/ Cole Slaw. Nice presentation with that circular dollop & a pickle slice on top. Like the way a ringing bell might taste.
You'll hear that joke again in another time, another place.

4/ Cornbread. Of course it is Yum!
Grainy goodness, cooked in a triangle to you get more crust, it's like a muffin that's all top. Get it?

Go on & get yourself some!

McGhin's Southern Pit Bar B Que
2964 North Expressway
Griffin, GA 30223
770-229-5887

Dogwood in full bloom

means Easter is near.

The Private Booth

with the starting line-up, then a dust-up in the first few laps.
click on the photo to enlarge - I admit it's not the best pic yet.

VIP Food: OK
VIP Booth Babes: "C+"
Overall sense of being a VIP at a "Big Event": High
- after my senses were seduced (a la wine in a soda can).

Those NASCAR Fans are intense, not like the
Frisbee crowd I usually hang with on a Sunday afternoon.

Atlanta Motor Speedway

& you are there
through the magic of QuickTime.
opens in a new window

on a cellular modem @ 75MPH

Just because I can, Posting to the blog while driving to Atlanta on I-20. Just passing Athens, G-A.
I am a passenger with a cell modem 56k connected Laptop struggling to hit the right keys while on a moving desk (Ford Explorer) enroute to the Atlanta Motor Speedway for my 1st photoblogging NASCAR experience. Viva la access to info. Push Button Publishing I'm an air-conditioned gypsy, I'm Mo-bile!

[Posted a few days later:
this post has no relation to the post below.
I was NOT riding in that auto-crap-mobile]

Clean your car!

This mess is the responsibility of . . . I'd better not say.
But if you:
are over 40, are sporting a comb-over,
have never moved out & left home,
are driving your Fathers Oldsmobile,
and the only healthy thing you've eaten in the past
4 months or 4,000 miles
is 1 banana (evidenced by the peel in the margarine tub)
then come on cousin, get it together, will ya?

Liberty Hill Primitive Baptist Church

Sounds critical to say "Primitive Baptist " but that's their name. Liberty Hill Georgia is home of some of the most interesting music and dynamic people the US of A has ever produced.

In the cemetery rests several of my ancestors, including Confederates, Colonists and Huguenots.
So this is an image of the distant future according to those folks. I think they'd say the trees are bigger now.
We're living in the future!
Lest We Forget.

Two Landmarks

Q: Guess where I was last week.
I didn't actually eat there, my California constitution would not like it anymore.
Fun to see again and as the marquee says: "World Famous".

A: On the left is The Varsity, sells more onion rings than any place in the world. In the shadow of CNN and Coca-Cola HQ.

On the right is the Big Chicken. If you've ever driven in NW Atlanta, GA (Marietta, pronounced: May-retta) you've used this big 'ol sign as a landmark.
Legend has it Delta pilots couldn't land straight when the Big Chicken blew down a while back. The rebuild featured moving eyes and beak.

Legend has it alright. Uh Huh. "They say", but there's no such thing as they.

Burning Man Jr.

We had a bonfire last weekend to chase away the dark.
Some picnic tables and at least one Adirondack chair
were ashes the next morning. They took a torch for the team.

::
Burning Man takes place in 6 months.
It last occurred 6 months ago. It's like we're on the dark side of the Burning Man Moon.

Burning Man's 2005 Art Theme will be
"Psyche: the Conscious, the Subconscious and the Unconscious."
Our theme explores psychology:
self-expression, self-reflection
and the unconscious power of dreams.
::
Tales from the Playa
::
You can only do things for the first time once

Pocotaligo Restaurant

The latest installation at MOMA:
Pocotaligo Restaurant.
a multimedia still-life display
exploring an Americana theme.



click photo to enlarge in new window


Note the two clocks - each with their own sense of time.
Possibly the artist was using the juxtaposed beverage themed clock faces to represented an ongoing universal dichotomy and thus the epic struggle of the marketplace.

Superb expression of post-modern consumerist conflict
via the symbol of the wall clock!

Ah, the multiple levels of allegory!
Oh, the Humanity!

or is this the back room of
Harold's Country Club, Yemassee, South Carolina?
No finer food anywhere, 3 days a week.
Wednesday: dogs and burgers.
Thursday: Pot-Luck buffet
Saturday: Steak (call ahead on steak night).

Harold's Country Club
97 US Hwy 17A-21
Yemassee, South Carolina
843-589-4360
***** = 5 Stars, the food and people are wonderful.
The atmosphere is comfortable, very comfortable.
Come as you are & smile.

Manure Basics

What will you do for your Saturday Bull Session?
Figuratively shoot the bull or literally spread the manure?
Decisions decisions . . . .

There's even a flower on the bag! Now that's good marketing!

Ice.

Dang, it iced up since yesterday!


The deep freeze iced up, that is . . .

Wow! People toughing out a cold winter sure get bent about a sub-tropical climate! Yesterdays post triggered an avalanche of responses from Snowbirds and el Rain-os.
For those wintering in Boston, Alaska, Minnesota, and that one responder where English is a second language
(I got your point brother, you are on Planet Earth too),
OK! OK! Chill! (I crack myself up)
Here, this is for you:
we have ice too. Sure do, plenty of it, too much of it, for a few more hours anyway.

Any Archeologists out there wanting to study ice fossiled boiled peanuts labeled "1997" just hit "reply email" (top left of page) and send a self addressed stamped envelope.
Act now, offer expires around sundown when I get back from the beach.

They're re-lighting the ol' lighthouse today & I'm on the VIP list. I'm wearing a vintage Surfing Magazine T-shirt, fleece vest and Long Pants - not shorts. It's not all that warm.
Toe-tay Buckwheat?
I'm not even wearing sandals. Things are tough all over ;-)

72 degrees in February

Is it getting warmer or is it just me?


so tempting to comment about how
the Valentines flowers are working, but I'm keeping it clean.
And smooth. And soft. And warm.
My mind is not in the gutter, it's in the sand dunes.
Enjoy, snowbirds! & all y'all el rain-os in CA!

Two more roses

By popular demand, Red Roses.
Some of you folks are traditionalists.
You loved the Peonys & Pink Perfections but asked for the default standard - you got it!
Beautiful aren't they?
Yep, beautiful. Delicate red velvet petals.

Happy Valentines Day, Sweetheart!

Don't you just love the names of things?
Like flower names. Pink Perfection.
Wow! I'm sold, sign me up. That's what I want,
Pink Perfection. Especially on 2-14.

One reader writes that today he was empty handed but his idea is to give his sweetie a nickname for Valentines.
Hmm. A nickname.
Everybody on the playground knows you cannot give yourself a nickname, but has anyone ever heard of a Valentines gift being Intellectual Property?
Free advice:
The anti-consumerism aspect of your Valentines idea is a plus, but dude - go pick some wild flowers on the way home. Even a backrub is free and it's a more tangible gift than a nickname.
You two can re-name each other while talking in the dark.

Keep those cards & letters coming!

Don't let This be You.

You are a Matador.


Even wearing your Suit of Lights, one mistake and you get a schooling you don't want.
It's Sunday so you really should have taken care of business by now. You have -0- more shopping days 'til Valentines.
Do not panic!

Panic leads to egregious lapses in judgment,
as shown in these headlines:

1) Give Your Valentine the Royal treatment
Looking for Valentine dinner reservations she'll remember-always?
Tell your sweetheart you have reservations for dinner - in Cincinnati. When you pull into the White Castle parking lot, she'll definitely be surprised.
White Castle restaurants in Cincinnati are accepting reservations for dinner by candlelight. You'll receive table service complete with wait staff, from 5 to 8 p.m. Valentine's Day, Feb. 14.
-------------------------------------------------------

and this headline:
2) Real or Fake, Gas Station Flowers Gaining in Popularity
I have a story here:
Once I bought a fresh floral bouquet for her. Much ado upon presentation, I wore a rainbow aurora. I hoped to upgrade to a halo.
Ah, Foolish me . . .
I made the mistake of saying I got them at a convenient location. While in a grocery store (for her) I grabbed a cash and carry bouquet. The flowers, once their purchase venue was known, were no longer a thoughtful gift. They weren't even considered fresh anymore.
"Look at the brown spot and this one is wilting"!
My glory was fleeting.
Nothing wrong with the gift, the bouquet had glowed just moments earlier.
I botched the presentation.
Don't let this be you.

TCB early and often.
Your domestic tranquility depends on your actions.

Rose Froze

It may seem counter intuitive but the best way to protect a rose in freezing weather is to encase it in ice.

Some people use counter intuitive interactions
in their inter-personal relationships.
----------------------------------------------------------
Woman jailed for ripping off lover's testicle
LONDON (Reuters) - A woman has been sentenced to two and a half years in jail for ripping off her ex-lover's testicle with her bare hands during a drunken brawl after he refused her sex.
Amanda M., 24, flew into a rage after Geoffrey J., 37, who had ended their long-term relationship, rejected her advances.
Amanda grabbed him by the genitals, tearing off his left testicle, then hid it in her mouth before a friend of Geoffrey handed it back to him saying "that's yours".

[it's not clear why a friend of Geoffrey was so conveniently located]
----------------------------------------------------------
Man Held in Chat-Room Effort at a Mass Suicide
GRANTS PASS, Ore., (AP) - A man used an Internet chat room to try to arrange a mass suicide on Valentine's Day involving more than two dozen women across the United States and Canada, the authorities say.
The man, Gerald K., 26, was arrested at his mother's mobile home and has been charged with solicitation to commit murder. The chat-room participants planned to log in on Valentine's Day and commit suicide while keeping in touch over the Internet. Investigators say the total number who planned to do so was 32.
----------------------------------------------------------
"Anyone in a new relationship should not be allowed out in public," said Liz Tuccillo, a co-author of "He's Just Not That Into You," a best-selling dating advice book.
"Sometimes people in couples don't think," she said.
----------------------------------------------------------
“Happy Loving Couples”
You know what I mean
Happy loving couples
In matching lamb turtle-neck sweaters
Reading Ideal Homes magazine
Yeah!

Wanna be, wanna really be what my friends pretend to be
Be it in my own good time
Being kind to myself till I become
one of two of a kind

Happy loving couples make it look so easy
Happy loving couples always talk so kind
Until the time that I can do my dancing with a partner
Those happy couples ain't no friends of mine

- Joe Jackson, on Look Sharp!
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Love is a rose. Mind the thorns.

Three days 'til V.D.

An Eternity Ring.

A diamond isn't the only thing that's forever.
Valentines Day is looming.
The Greeting card/Floral/Jewelry market forces prove
that Love is a verb made tangible by a sales receipt.

Don't let your marketing-pitch-susceptible significant other think you have stiffed her.

Guys, you cannot coast on:
past dinners, backrubs, walks along the beach (at sunset), Oprah books,
toilet seats placed correctly, toothpaste tubes re-squeezed per standard,
dust bunnies hunted and captured, spiders exorcised,
any past white knight episode of the day (you got lucky once),
doors opened, cars washed, light bulbs replaced,
remembering where everything goes per prior agreement,
“does this make me look fat” answered with affection,
wearing those clothes she picked out for you at the Mall,
(she shopped, you paid, you hoped none of your friends saw you),
eating your brocolli and tofu together while watching Judging Amy,
or ending every sentence to her with “Yes M’am”.

Your prior flowers have wilted and been discarded.
On 2/14/2005: "What have you done for me lately?"

Uh-oh, I'm not helping myself out here . . . Gotta go make reservations at Chez Swank.
Gargoyle! Bring us your best Giraffe of Wine!
- a Cheech & Chong quote I'll never forget.

The Arsenal and Museum

 

Once housed a shrunken head but no one believes me. The people I grew up with know it's true but nobody else believes a shrunken head was displayed in here.

The building also served as a Magistrates office where I once had to state my case on why a friend was riding on the hood of a car I was driving. To top it off, it wasn't my car and I had no clear right to operate it. I was 15, does that help explain the lack of plausible explanation?

Thank goodness the magistrate had also been my 5th grade Health teacher. I lost my license for 30 days by mutual agreement. The magistrate / 5th grade Health teacher took my license, put it in his shirt pocket, I came back in 30 days and got it back. He had it in his desk.
No points off, no insurance rate increase,
and no repeat offenses, Sir.
Justice was served, I was reformed.
And I have never again driven around town in a semi-stolen vehicle
with someone riding on the hood! Not Once!